"Pooh, what do you want from me?"

While I picked up my phone to talk to Xiong Yaoyue, I stared at the chat window of Taobao Wangwang, and replied to the female customer who inquired about the power consumption of the massage stick:

"I suggest you use rechargeable batteries. Pinsheng's ones are pretty good. To be honest with you sister, I often use this kind of battery..."

Yes, you guessed it right. I used the customer service number "Dinghuawei" and pretended to be a woman to answer questions. Even if it was fake, I couldn't let the other party think that the customer service was a man who picked his feet. Otherwise, how embarrassing would the female customer be? .

But for the sake of my physical and mental health, I decided to gradually hand over all the consulting services for female customers to Shu Zhe, even if I give him a salary increase.

Ah, speaking of which, how will I explain to my dad then? Not only did I hire a part-time employee for the online store, but I am still a transvestite. My dad should have doubted my sexual orientation.

"Ye Lin, why are you absent-minded?" Xiong Yaoyue said slightly angrily on the other side of the phone, "Are you masturbating?"

"..."

"If you are masturbating, I will wait for 5 minutes before calling you. 5 minutes should be enough."

You only have 5 minutes, and all of you and the whole family have 5 minutes. A Spartan with a strong physical strength like me still needs half an hour.

Just at this time, the female customer asked again: "Can a model like this be inserted into the anus? I love my wife very much and don't want to hurt her..."

Damn, it turns out to be lace. Since you love your wife very much, don’t put this thing into her anus. Damn, this is a European and American model. You want to cause your wife to prolapse.

I hurriedly typed: "Don't use this to fuck your anus, or your wife will break up with you."

At the same time, he couldn't help but mutter to himself: "My anus can't stand it anyway..."

Unexpectedly, Xiong Yaoyue heard this whisper.

"Chrysanthemum." Xiong Yaoyue immediately became very interested, "I'm sorry, I forgot that you are gay. You definitely don't bother masturbating. Instead, you are doing prostate massage. Could it be... using cucumbers?"

You are the only one who uses cucumbers. Your whole family uses cucumbers. I am trying to prevent a weak girl who is lost on the lily road from being fucked in the anus by her heavy-tasting husband.

"Well, Pooh, what do you want from me?"

"It's nothing too important. I just want to go to Miss Amy with you tomorrow to apologize."

"Apologise, because you went to play a qualifying match with a gaming team last week and missed your appointment. That was also your own fault. Why do you want me to apologize to you too?"

"Just help me, aren't you my good buddy?"

Fortunately, Xiong Yaoyue didn't use the word "good sister", otherwise I might have hung up on her right away.

"Okay, there's nothing wrong with going with you. I should have gone there at some point." I said, "But Amy is actually very busy. Are you sure she has time tomorrow?"

"OK, sure, I just called." Xiong Yaoyue said excitedly, "It will be much better if you are with me. It is my first time to visit a wealthy family, so I am a little nervous."

It seems that Xiong Yaoyue still thinks that Amy is a simple rich young lady and does not know her status in the entertainment industry.

"By the way, what should I wear when I go to visit tomorrow? Isn't it impolite to wear shorts? Do I want to wear a long dress that looks like a dress? I seemed to have a set when I was in the chorus in elementary school..."

Do you think you can still wear the skirt you wore in elementary school now? You thought you were a hobbit, and you scratched your face while trying to save the ball during volleyball practice on Friday, so you had to put on three band-aids. Ah, add three more and you will become a little bearded cat. Even if you wear the most ladylike clothing, the band-aid on your face will make you show off your true colors.

Suddenly it occurred to me, you are not so stupid that even on your wedding day, you are wearing a wedding dress and your face is covered with Band-Aids. In that case, your relatives and friends will misunderstand that the groom is engaging in domestic violence. He beats him like this without even getting married. He is simply the enemy of women. He will be dragged out and chopped into pieces. Feed the dog.

"Tomorrow the temperature will be 34 degrees." I reminded her, "Whatever you usually wear, you can wear tomorrow. Be casual. As you know, Amy is my...child of a relative, and I will treat her place as my own." , just treat it as a guest in my house."

"Hey, this is a good idea..." Xiong Yaoyue said suddenly, "Then if I go there without breakfast tomorrow, can I get something delicious?"

You said you were nervous just now. You are so nervous. Please let go of your restraints, travel lightly, and go to Amy's place to eat whatever you want. As long as you don't criticize the French chef's craftsmanship and make him commit suicide.

Thinking of the chef who inherited the suicide tradition of his French predecessors and received the sword inheritance from the Japanese blowfish master, I gave Xiong Yaoyue a vaccination and said:

"You can eat whatever you want..."

"Hey, won't you prepare drinks for us?" Xiong Yaoyue's tone sounded disappointed.

"No, you can drink whatever you want. Just one thing. Don't speak ill of the French chef. It's best to flatter him a little, otherwise a big incident will happen."

"French chef, did Miss Amy's family hire a Frenchman as a chef? I've heard that French food is very delicious. You are worthy of being a rich lady. She is so rich."

"Hey, did you hear me clearly? You must flatter the French chef that his cooking is delicious."

"Don't worry, as long as it's something someone treats me to for free, as long as it doesn't taste like shit, I will definitely praise it and say it's delicious, otherwise they won't treat me next time."

Okay, when you say that, it sounds like you have eaten shit yourself and know what shit tastes like.

"By the way, I heard that Miss Amy lives in Qingzi Academy. Why does she live in such a strange place? The security guard at the door will definitely not let me in. Why don't I go find you, and then you can find a way to take me in? Bar."

Really, Amy clearly invited Xiong Yaoyue to her place as a guest, but she didn't think about how to let him in. It was almost exactly the same as the first time I went to give her a calligraphy practice grid.

"No problem, you come to me in the morning and I will find a way to take you there, but do you know my home address?"

"Hey, I didn't know. When I wanted to ask you, your cell phone was busy, but I called the monitor and asked."

"What, why did you call the monitor?"

"Why not? The monitor has read the student registration book and almost knows the addresses of all the classmates. Why are you so suspicious like the monitor?"

"The squad leader is suspicious."

"Yeah, I asked her if she knew the address of your home. She refused to tell me at first, and she asked me cautiously, 'Didn't you say that whoever breaks up Ye Lin and his true love, you will follow Who broke up with each other,'"

"..."

"The monitor is so vindictive. If I hadn't been brotherly and wanted to keep your secret, I almost couldn't help but confess to the monitor directly, telling her that you were gay and that you were in a relationship with our school's school idol, Shen Shaoyi."

Damn it, don’t say that. I finally regained some favorability with the squad leader. If the squad leader believes you and finds her brother wearing the women’s underwear I sent him, she should suspect my real goal. Her brother, I, a faggot, may have pushed his brother down many times, and then...you have to ask, of course he pulled the trigger on me with remorse.

It’s unfair. It’s snowing in June. Before I die, I want to spray the blood from my mouth three feet high. I want to spray blood on others, Xiong Yaoyue, all over your face. You, a pig teammate, reminds me of that hunter. I made friends with a bear, and then the bear tried to help the hunter get rid of the flies on his face, but ended up crushing the hunter to death.

"Huh, because the squad leader is petty, I counterattacked her and asked: What does me going to find Ye Lin have to do with you? I didn't go to fall in love with him. You are so sensitive. Do you like Ye Lin?"

"Hey, what did the monitor say?" I was quite curious.

"Hahahaha... Of course I deny it. How can such a strict self-discipline person as the monitor violate the school rules? Besides, it would be tragic if she really likes you. You are not interested in girls."

Who is not interested in girls? Don't deprive me of one of my most important hobbies. Even on the days when my Spartan heart is the strongest, I will secretly read H-comics to entertain myself.

"Anyway, the squad leader finally told me the address, but after telling me he was unwilling to hang up the phone, as if he was waiting for me to confess my crime... I don't know why, but I felt a little sorry for the squad leader, so I told him that I was planning to find someone. You go together to your rich mixed-race cousin’s house as a guest..."

"The monitor thought of your cousin who looked like a doll, and seemed to be interested in it. I asked her if she wanted to come with us. She sighed, said she was not welcome, wished us a good time, and then hung up the phone. "

Does it mean that she is not popular with Amy? The reason why the monitor likes Amy is completely the same as her liking for kittens and puppies. The reason why Amy is afraid of the monitor is not much different from the reason why the kittens and puppies are afraid of the monitor. You two have a very awkward relationship.

In addition, the monitor had actually petted Amy's pet dog Obama inhumanely with my help before she met Amy. She might be a little surprised when she learned that the dog belonged to Amy. Will he stretch out his hands, rush towards me with blushing cheeks, and cry out infatuatedly, "Let me touch him?" Then Amy and Obama, one person and one dog, will be chased around by the class monitor.

Let's forget it this time. If there is a chance in the future, we must let Amy and the monitor have a good relationship. After all, they are the future sisters-in-law.

Xiong Yaoyue and I agreed on a time to meet tomorrow morning and hung up the phone.

Next, I thought about it and did not disturb Amy's rest. Instead, I dialed Pentheus' mobile phone. In addition to the walkie-talkie, he also carried a rugged military-standard mobile phone with him, but its main use recently was to install a mobile phone called Jack'd (I pronounce it as "pickup emperor") app, try to hook up with gay guys in the same city.

Damn, this is the gay version of WeChat and Momo. I remember that blood-red icon. Does it represent the tragic aftermath of Juhua? If I see it on someone’s phone in the future, I will cover myself tightly. of chrysanthemums.

"Penteus," I said straight to the point, "could you come to my house tomorrow morning?"

"Okay." Pentheus looked overjoyed, "Lin, you heard that my hookup didn't go well and you want to comfort me."

"To comfort you, I asked you to pick up Pooh and I. Amy invited us to come over as guests. Pooh doesn't have the uniform of Qingzi Academy, so I'm afraid he won't be able to enter the school."

Although Pentheus was as tall as an iron tower, he was as careful as his hair. He actually remembered that Winnie was the nickname given to Xiong Yaoyue by Amy.

"No problem, I will drive to pick you up, at 7 o'clock, right? Please don't have breakfast in advance, we will be responsible for preparing it."

There's no need to worry about this, Xiong Yaoyue didn't plan to have breakfast in the first place.

"In addition, for future convenience, I will also bring a set of Qingzi Academy uniforms to Miss Pooh. I have met her once, and I should still remember the approximate size..."

Can you never forget it after seeing it once? You can probably even guess the size of Xiong Yaoyue's underwear. You are the evil king's true eye. Do you know how to kill the black dragon wave with fire? Why are you such a naughty person? , those "attackers" who found you through "Accepting Guest Emperor" were immediately frightened to death when they saw your domineering aura, and they were no longer in the mood to tremble.

I suddenly remembered that the last time I wore the Qingzi Academy uniform and fought against Master Xu, I was very, very hot. I am afraid it was not just a matter of heavy exercise.

"Penttheus, let me ask you, are the school uniforms of Qingzi Academy the same as our No. 28 Middle School, divided into summer and autumn styles?"

"That's not true." Pentheus replied, "Qingzi Academy has only one uniform, but it has a removable lining. In particularly cold winters, there is also a lambswool lining that can be replaced..."

So...Is that so? I said why I feel like there is something extra in the uniforms of Qingzi Academy. It turns out that I have been wearing the ordinary lining that is only used in spring and autumn. Didn't you remove it? I am SB. I even had prickly heat this time.

After discussing it with Pentheus, I decisively found the Qingzi Academy uniform in the closet and removed the inner lining fixed with invisible zippers.

Damn, this is its complete form. Such good material, when blown under the air conditioner, the ventilation effect is excellent. When I went to see Amy in my school uniform a few times, I still endured the scorching heat. I thought this was for The price I had to pay to see my sister turned out to be completely unnecessary. I was completely stupid enough to throw away the opportunity that I could have had a refreshing break.

On Sunday morning, I didn’t have to go to Dongshan Lake to practice boxing as usual. After getting up, I did 100 push-ups. Then, after washing, I sat in the living room with my eyes closed and meditated on the true meaning of Yin Yang Sanshou while waiting for Xiong Yaoyue’s arrival.

Not long after, the sound of running upstairs could be heard outside the door. It was probably because the sneakers on the soles of the feet had a good cushioning effect, so they would not particularly disturb the neighbors.
Chapter completed!