In the afternoon Chinese class, yesterday’s class composition was handed out.

The topic of the essay is "My Father/Mother". Now the teacher has kept pace with the times when setting the topic, taking into account the existence of students from single-parent families like me.

Although Ai Shuqiao's story may be more twists and turns and bizarre, it is like a Sino-US cooperation blockbuster, where business wars and house fights, murder and pornography are all mixed together. It will definitely be super eye-catching when it is published in a street tabloid, but I can't possibly Write about her.

So, I wrote at the beginning:

"My father Ye Yuanfeng is a noble man who has escaped from vulgar taste..."

Don't say that opening an adult products store is in bad taste. We are here to help lonely men and women vent their sexual stress and reduce sexual crimes. The harmony of the Republic is half that of the police and half that of us. It is already noble that we do not care about the state's subsidies. .

But the parents of other classmates must have normal jobs. Even selling Liangpi is more prestigious than my father's job. (I don't mean to look down on Liangpi sellers at all. There is a student in the third grade whose parents are Liangpi sellers. He goes to the Liangpi seller with his parents every summer. vacation in the Maldives).

Do I have to write that my dad operates with integrity and never shoddy products, like replacing the imported motor of the Japanese A`V stick with a domestic one? I have never done this before, even the lubricating oil and condoms that come as gifts. , and there are no counterfeit products or expired products.

It’s so embarrassing to write about it. In class 2 (3), probably only Xiaoqin and Eunuch Cao know what my family sells. Others at most know that my family runs an online store.

And if Old Man Zhang, the Chinese teacher who has always had a problem with me, finds out, he will definitely despise me even more. I have already received a lot of contempt because of my ugly handwriting.

So I decided to express myself freely. What I am best at is expressing myself freely in compositions.

I wrote:

"My father is the chief designer of Shenzhou 10. The Shenzhou 10 spacecraft he designed is not only equipped with laser cannons, but also magnetic monopole cannons, proton accelerating cannons, atomic deceleration cannons, neutrino superspeed cannons, and quark cannons. Spiral cannon, Goddess of Dawn's forgiveness cannon, Vientiane sky-inducing earth-blasting star cannon..."

"The U.S. government was frightened and immediately sent a female spy into China to try to seduce my father to steal confidential technology. My father was upright and out of vulgar taste. He sternly rejected her and was unanimously praised by his leaders and colleagues... …”

"My dad protected our country by himself, so he was awarded the rank of general like Li Shuangjiang. Now the neighbors call my dad General Ye..."

"So this young master is the general's son. If my essay doesn't get a high score, I might do the same thing as Li Tianyi..."

"Anyway, my dad is great. I have enough words and this is the end..."

Thinking about it, I really scribbled out yesterday's essay. Sure enough, it was because I accidentally gave the bikini thong to the class monitor, which greatly reduced my favorability, so I vented it in the essay. How can I write this kind of essay? What kind of criticism did you get?

Picking up the manuscript paper and taking a closer look, Old Man Zhang drew a big X at the end of the article and commented:

"Nonsense and lies."

"First of all, the chief designer of Shenzhou 10 is Zhang Bonan. He has nothing to do with your father. It is better to say that he is your biological father."

"And Li Shuangjiang is not a general. There are no civilian generals in China. You little kid, don't listen to the misinformation in society."

"Finally, 'Forgiveness of the Goddess of Dawn' is a stupid mistake made by the early translators of 'Saint Seiya'. The correct translation of 'Aurora Execution' should be 'Aurora Execution'. This is what happened if you didn't study hard when you were a child."

Damn it, old man Zhang, you are incredible. You corrected so many mistakes for me in an essay of less than 400 words. That’s just the previous ones. How did you know about this Saint Seiya plot? Is it because your child asked? Have you ever had a problem with this? And you are a Chinese teacher, so why are you here to correct my English mistakes? Or do you think you can correct my English mistakes as long as you are a human being?

I don’t know if I’m the only one bragging in the essay, but Old Man Zhang asked everyone to take the essay back for parents to sign, so that parents can see what they see in their children’s eyes.

It's really deceiving. Fortunately, I didn't write that my dad is the invincible superman from Krypton. Although it would be too much to say that my dad is the chief designer of Shenzhou-10, but for my dad who is usually confused, I can't lie to him. It should be relatively easy to sign.

I saw Xiaoqin at the next table also frowning, so I took a look at her composition paper.

It was clearly written on the manuscript paper:

"My father is a famous movie actor..."

Hey, is Xiaoqin's father a movie actor? I never knew it before, but I did hear that Aunt Ren only started to become a martial arts instructor after she got married.

Isn't it different from me? Even if her parents are divorced, Xiaoqin's relationship with her father is relatively good. Generally speaking, shouldn't this kind of composition be about her mother who has been living with her?

The next line reads:

"My mother is an internationally renowned cartoonist, whose pen name is Teacher Shuiqin..."

It turns out that Nima was not written from his own perspective, but from the perspective of our future children.

Although I don't have the confidence to become a famous movie actor, I have a better chance of becoming a cartoonist than you anyway. It seems that I have to work hard or my family of three will go hungry.

"My father and mother are very loving. Whether they are watching TV on the sofa, cooking in the kitchen, or watching the scenery on the balcony, they often hug each other involuntarily. Then I was rushed to the study to study. , I don’t know what they did later..."

Damn it, am I going to look like this after I get married, am I in heat 24 hours a day?

"Because I was often driven to the study room to study, I accidentally read a lot of books and graduated from college at the age of 13..."

Is this a child prodigy created because his parents are too promiscuous? I don’t know whether I should be proud or ashamed of having such a child.

"Besides making readers miserable with her comics, my mother's biggest hobby is to hold my hand and go to the police station to find a big sister with long black hair. She asks me to call her aunt, and she always asks her " Monitor, when do you plan to get married,'"

Did you deliberately show off in front of the class monitor? You accidentally revealed your true thoughts through the mouth of an imaginary child.

"In addition, my father pushed my mother down on the dining table yesterday. I had to go to the study room to study in the middle of the meal. And I may have a younger brother or younger sister..."

Bastard, are you just teaching your children by words and deeds like this? What should I do if it has a negative impact on the growth of my children? One child is not enough, should I have two children? Will I be punished by the Family Planning Commission? Do you really think my father is a general? ah.

Ahhhhh, milk powder is so expensive now, I have to work harder. Raising a dog was so hard for me before, let alone raising a child.

Wait, why are you affected by Xiaoqin's essay? Even she herself is worried about how to get home and get her mother to sign it.

Old Man Zhang’s red pen comments are even more eye-catching:

"This is a disease and it needs to be cured."

Old man Zhang, you have a keen eye for talent. Although I don’t know who “Teacher Shuiqin” and other titles refer to, I can see with sharp eyes that Xiaoqin is sick. I also agree to send Xiaoqin to study on abnormal humans. The center will take good care of her. The squad leader and I will visit her during the holidays.

"Alas." Xiao Qin sighed, "It seems I have to put this essay in the time machine in the drawer. I hope my future mother will sign it for me..."

Do you have a time machine in your drawer? If you have a time machine, please go back to the past first and tell your childhood self not to bully me. In that case, I don’t have to be as fierce as I am now, and I will give you this childhood sweetheart. Leave a ray of hope for my wife.

Xiaoqin was dejected until school was over. She didn't know how her mother would criticize herself after reading this essay that needed to be signed.

It was easier to get my father's signature for my essay, but we, father and son, had to make some moves. First, we called my father to come home, and second, we went to my father's hotel ourselves.

After thinking about it for a while, I thought I should go to my dad’s hotel without notifying him in advance. Firstly, I would give him a surprise, and secondly, I would make a surprise inspection to see if he had taken advantage of my absence and drank uncontrollably.

When I was sorting out the things I wanted to bring home, I accidentally discovered the black sunglasses that Amy gave me last time.

According to captain Guo Songtao's analysis, the main reason for my scary appearance is between my eyebrows. I have become a habit of frowning, as if I am angry at any time, and the four words "Whoever offends me will die" are always clearly displayed in my eyes. Engraved inside.

So, if I cover my eyes with sunglasses, maybe people will mistake me for being a good person.

Anyway, there’s nothing too important today, so I’ll just put on my sunglasses and go out and see what the effect is.

Wearing sunglasses and carrying a shoulder bag, I was on the street corner preparing to take a taxi when an old man walked over shakily.

"Young man, how do I get to Putai South Street?"

Someone... someone asked me for directions. An old man with white hair and a weak body actually did not avoid me, but asked me for directions.

Ever since I became what I am now, no one has ever asked me for directions.

The only time was when a primary school student asked me at the station how to get to the Internet cafe at the base because it was too dark. After seeing my face clearly, he knelt down and begged me for mercy.

It's been at least two years. No one has asked me for directions in two years.

Will I, who is like this, be able to enjoy being asked for directions one day? It turns out that God exists. I am so excited, I am so sad, I am so melancholy, and I have tears streaming down my face.

The old man saw two lines of hot tears flowing out from under my sunglasses, and he was almost frightened to the point of rejuvenating himself and jumped back three feet away.

Since then, a love story about Putai South Street has been circulated in Dongshan City. The content of the story is varied, but the ending is exactly the same: when the young man heard the four words "Putai South Street" again from the person who asked for directions. After these words, I shed tears of sadness...

I'm sorry, sister, there are only Love Pet Hospital, Shangdao Cafe, and Home Inn on Putai South Street.

I was sad and crying, could it be because I didn't take the monitor to check out a room at Home Inn while she was favorably favoring me?
Chapter completed!