But I don’t know how long I can hold it... Jun Haixin silently thought in her heart, whether it will be one year, two years... or five years?! And she didn’t know the answer.

After hugging enough, Jun Haixin took a deep breath and let go of her hands, "I'll go back to the room first." As she said that, she turned around and walked towards the stairs.

"Haixin!" Song Yi stopped and said, "You will be tomorrow night..."

"I won't come back tomorrow night and will sleep outside." Jun Haixin replied. It was just because she didn't want her close relatives to see her in pain. Even if she locked the door of the room, she was afraid that her sister-in-law would worry about spending all night outside the door.

Speaking of playing, Jun Haixin stepped up the stairs. Song Yi looked at Jun Haixin's back worriedly, but was full of worry.

Although the eldest son found Mingyi, she was really relieved, but when she thought that her sister-in-law had no news about Mingyi, she picked up her heart again. Especially now, her sister-in-law is 40 years old and after the New Year, she is 41, but Mingyi doesn't even have a shadow.

Sometimes Song Yi can only comfort himself. Maybe in a few days, Xiaomei's life will suddenly appear, just like Jinchen met Xiaoxu, which happened without anyone expecting it.

Thinking of this, Song Yi would be in a slightly better mood.

Jun Haixin walked into the room and lay tiredly on the bed. She took out a white medicine bottle from her pocket. She glanced at it and then threw the medicine bottle to the ground.

Tomorrow, this medicine has no effect at all, and tomorrow... how painful will it be?!

The pain was more severe than the other time. Every time, she thought it was already the ultimate pain, but she didn't expect that the next full moon would only hurt more than this time.

And when the full moon was full, when Jun Haixin stayed alone in the presidential suite of the Junshi Hotel again, she found that the pain she endured this time was indeed worse than the last time. The pain was not only flowing in the blood, but also like an invisible hand twisting the bones and muscles of her body.

The pain this time was not only a little bit more than the pain of the last full moon, but it seemed like a full fifth of the pain. Of course, this fifth was just a little bit of it.

Before she was forty, although the pain in the full moon increased, it only increased slowly, very slowly, so slowly that sometimes it could not even be noticed. However, after she was 40, the growth rate of this pain was much faster.

It is precisely because of this that many people from the Jun family can’t stand to commit suicide!

Jun Haixin smiled bitterly. There was a sound of music in the room, which was used to cover up her painful wailing sound. Even though she knew that the sound insulation of the hotel room was very good, even if she shouted in the room until her throat broke, no one would hear it, but she still turned the music to the loudest.

She thought it was because she didn't want to hear her wailing. The more she listened, the more she would make her suffer, the more struggled, the more she would be sad and angry, and the more she would lose the courage to continue to live...

Although she often feels that death is a relief for her now, she thinks that she may have a chance to meet her fate, thinks that she may still be able to get the satisfaction she has never had before, thinks... If she really dies, then it will be a deep blow to her family who has always loved her.

As for Bai Zhuyun, what would happen to him if she died? Should he die with her? Or would he send a bouquet of flowers to her grave every year? Or would he dig out her bones and ashes from the grave and completely wipe out the ashes?

She believed that Bai Zhuyun would do such a thing.

But no matter what he will do then, it has nothing to do with her.

In her life, she has never found a person who loves more than her life, but she is loved by someone crazy. Whenever she watches some people on TV say that being loved is better than her lover, she will feel an indescribable sadness in her heart.

I am sad about myself and also sad about Bai Zhuyun.

When you can't love someone no matter what, the kind of love that will only make each other fall into entanglement.

In the luxurious presidential suite, Jun Hai felt heartbroken, and on the other end, in the nearly closed room, there was only one light on, Bai Zhuyun was lustful with his upper body, holding a dagger in his hand, and scratching his body. The sharp blade easily cut off his skin, and the red blood was preserved.

His face was covered with sweat, and his white hair was slightly wet against his forehead and cheeks because of sweat. His face was gray and white due to blood loss.

At this moment, there were already seven or eight wounds on his body. Each wound was covered with blood. The bright red blood was dripping on his body, dripping on his pants, and on the floor of the room, it looked particularly shocking.

But he seemed to feel no pain at all, and a gentle smile bloomed on his face, and the more wounds there were on his body, the stronger the smile on his face.

"Haixin, are you very painful now? If you hate me so much now and don't want to see me, I can not see you, but I can accompany you to the pain." Bai Zhuyun murmured in a low voice, as if Jun Haixin was in front of him at this moment, and he was talking to her.

Before the age of 25, he only bleed for himself, but after the age of 25, he only bleed for her.

There are countless scars of all sizes on this body. Except for some scars from childhood, every other one was drawn by him for her, because he wanted to accompany her to hurt, and he wanted to use this method to fantasize that she and him were together.

One knife, one knife...

The blood gushed out of him was getting more and more, and the grayish whiteness on his face became more and more obvious.

"Haixin, Haixin! I, Bai Zhuyun, can you give you the love, can you give your life?" He suddenly stabbed him hard on his arm, "Why don't you want to look at me more? Why don't you even give me a lie? Even if you are lying, even if you are lying, even if you are lying, as long as you say it, I will do everything for you at all!"

As long as she says that she will fall in love with him one day, then he will be willing to live in this false fantasy, and then hope that one day in the future, she will really fall in love with him. Even if this fantasy is still a fantasy when he dies, he will be willing.

As long as she is willing to say...

As long as she is willing to say...

In the quiet room, there was only his breathing sound, and no one answered his question. Will there be such a day? Will she be willing to tell him this lie? Or will he never wait for this day?

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Chapter completed!