"Uncle Second, I'm back."

After saying this, the entire Zen room became quiet.

Only the blue smoke that rose from the bronze incense burner trembled slightly in the air, and then slowly dispersed. A faint smoke filled the eyes that were stained with half of the world, as if even his eyes became hazy.

But I know, he keeps watching me.

I also looked at him silently.

After being silent for a long time, the monk Zhengjue said softly: "How long have you been going in this direction?"

"Sixteen years."

“Where have you gone?”

"Everything is the world."

"Have you ever found?"

"……No."

"Then, what have you lost?"

I thought about it, but still shook my head.

He looked at me with a smile for a while, a faint smile appeared on his old face and said, "You have grown up."

As soon as I heard this sentence, I felt that tears could not stop surging up.

In Xichuan, there are not many people who are qualified to say this, although this person is one of the most qualified people, because he is Yan Yizhi, the second son of the Yan family.

I can't be too familiar with him, because when I started to remember, he was already in Buddhism and became a monk in Tianmu Temple. When I learned that his identity was actually my second uncle, it was already when my mother was expelled from the Yan family's head house and took me to the foot of the West Mountain to place an order. Every now and then, he would bring rice and flour to help us with monk Wuwei. It was also during the conversation between monk Wuwei and his mother that I realized that the monk who looked young and handsome but had an unusually serious man was the concubine's son of the Yan family and my second uncle.

But I didn't expect that he had become so old after not seeing him for sixteen years.

Even in front of me, he was about to stand up from the cushion slowly, and his movements seemed so slow and difficult. I hurried forward to support him, feeling that the arm in the bend of the elbow was very thin.

I helped him slowly to sit down at the table. I picked up the teapot and got the tea myself, but found that the tea was cold.

There are still two monks around him who have been protecting him, so the tea is cold, which shows that he usually eats cold tea.

I held the teacup in both hands and looked at him quietly: "How have you been doing in the past few years?"

“Every day, it’s the same.”

"I remember when I left that year, my second uncle was adding to the incomplete "Seventeenth Stages" and "The Great Vibhasa". I wonder if it is now complete?"

"It's done."

"Congratulations to my second uncle."

"My heart is like a mirror, how sad or happy it is."

This is not the first time I have a conversation with a monk, but it is the first time I have encountered such a conversation, which seems to be close and far. He obviously was doing Zen with me every word, and he didn't know what to say for a moment. He just looked down at the teacup in his hand. The swaying candlelight, like a mirror-like tea, paused and delivered the teacup to Monk Zhengjue's hand.

Because after covering it for a while, the tea was not as cold as it was when it was poured out.

Monk Zhengjue looked down at the teacup, with fine wrinkles piled up at the corners of his eyes, as if he was smiling at me, and said softly: "You are becoming more and more like your mother."

The candlelight swayed a little.

I raised my eyes, looked at the old face of Monk Zhengjue, and after a while, I said softly: "Uncle Second still remembers my mother."

"You can't forget."

"How much does the second uncle remember?"

"I remember everything I should remember."

“…”

I just felt my throat hoarse for a while, and many words and many questions could not even say a word at this moment.

It’s like when I was talking to the Queen Mother, I couldn’t say any of those words and questions.

Looking back, the Empress Dowager and the second uncle in front of her were so similar. They were both in a prosperous and beautiful place and were all people who could enjoy all their glory and wealth. However, they threw themselves into Buddhism in the most enviable eyes of the world and guarded this green lamp. The years were like flowing water, and they were wandering away.

I was silent for a long time, and finally asked softly: "Why did Uncle Second Become a monk?"

"Why is this question?"

"Uncle Second is the young master of the Yan family. In the eyes of ordinary people, this is a bit-"

Before I finished speaking, I didn't know what to say, so I heard him smile indifferently and said, "In the eyes of ordinary people, I did something stupid, right?"

I smiled awkwardly.

Monk Zhengjue also smiled, but smiled calmly: "But, 'The Master said: I heard the truth in the morning and died in the evening'. Even death is OK, so what's wrong with abandoning the glory, wealth and honor of the world to become a monk? I never thought I had done something stupid. I thought I had thought that I had wasted my life day and night."

I was stunned for a moment.

I have had many speculations about his becoming a monk, but I was surprised when I actually heard his frank answer.

In this world, some people like to eat orangutan lips and the green of the Swallows, while others like to eat orangutan lips and the green of the Swallows. But in fact, only those who have eaten orangutan lips and the green of the Swallows are really qualified to tell everyone that they are good at eating orangutan lips and the green of the Swallows.

This is how my second uncle, this monk Zhengjue, is.

He got what the world thought was the best, but he really understood what was the "best" for him.

It turns out that he is completely different from the Queen Mother.

For him, Buddhism is not a place to escape from the pain of the world, but a place to truly receive great joy.

However, I asked, "Do you have no regrets in your life?"

“…”

The old face turned dim in an instant.

I looked at him with some surprise. Although I asked this, I just wanted to be calm in my heart, but I didn't expect that the small stone seemed to break through the sky under the water, causing ripples in his heart as a mirror.

At this moment, I suddenly remembered some things I heard when I was a child.

Could it be—

Not allowing me to think about it carefully, the monk Zhengjue sighed and said, "There is no life without regrets in this world."

...

In this world, there is no life without regrets?

Everyone should have and will definitely have regrets in their life.

However, looking back on this life, we will always make choices of one kind and another, what is incomplete and what is perfect.

The second uncle spent half his life completing the "Seventeenth Stages" and "The Great Vibhasa" so there must be some incompleteness that cannot be compensated.

For example, his family affection, his love...

At this time, Monk Zhengjue had calmed down his mood, looked at me quietly for a while, and said, "Where are you from?"

This time, I did not use the "come to come" to practice Zen with him, but answered honestly: "From Nian Baoyu, I will come."

“Why go where?”

"There is a war there. My husband, my daughter, let's go and help."

"Are you married?"

"yes."

"Who did you marry?"

"..." I thought about it and said, "The Prince of the previous dynasty."

Monk Zhengjue looked at me for a while: "What kind of person is he?"

"He is very nice to me."

Monk Zhengjue was silent for a moment, as if he had thought of something, and suddenly said, "You are like your mother."

“…”

"Just know what you want."

When I heard this, I felt suspicious, but I didn't know what was wrong. After thinking about it, I still told the question I wanted to ask the most: "Did the second uncle know that when Xichuan, my father, had someone, fought a battle with the cavalry of the Dongchaga team in Nian Baoyu?"

"Remember."

"Why do you fight?"

Zhengjue frowned slightly and looked at me: "Why do you ask?"

"This time, I met the general of the Dongchaga team who participated in the war in Nian Baoyu. He told me some past events, which made me feel very confused."

"What kind of doubt?"

"The general said that he said that the battle was like my father fought for my mother." At this point, I paused slightly, looked at the candlelight swaying in front of me, and my eyes seemed to be invaded by the candlelight, and it flashed slightly, "Uncle Second, is this the truth?"

Zhengjue said lightly: "No one can guess your father's thoughts."

I frowned slightly, but before I could say anything, he said again: "But you should be able to figure out your mother's thoughts."

"Why?"

"You have a Bodhisattva heart."

“…”

"And your mother is a Bodhisattva."

“…!”

I just felt a sudden thunder in my heart.

This sentence was what Su Su told me that Uncle Ai had said before, and now, Uncle Er actually said the same thing in front of me.

I have a Bodhisattva heart, and my mother is a Bodhisattva.

Why do I feel more and more that this very simple sentence seems to be full of deep meaning and imply some obvious things, but I can't understand them at all?

The word "chuan" almost frowned on my eyebrows. After a long time of silence, I slowly asked, "Can the second uncle tell me what kind of Bodhisattva my mother is?"

Just as he was stunned, he looked up at me.

I continued to ask, "My father and my mother met at Yunchi Peak in Xishan. What was my mother doing in Xishan at that time? What kind of person was she?"

Zhengjue looked at me for a while, and his blue-gray eyes slowly calmed down and said, "Qingying, are you here to visit your mother today?"

I thought for a while and said, "I just want to recognize her."

“…”

I know, this is too funny. There is no daughter in this world asking other people, who is her mother? Especially when I was not separated from her since childhood, but because I grew up to be a teenager by her side, but when I asked this question, it was really ridiculous.

But, I really want to know the answer to this question.

From childhood to adulthood, to me, she was my mother and the mistress of the Yan family. Later, after going through hardships, she always faced all the troubles with a smile. I never realized that my mother had so many confusions, and behind her, there were so many shadows that I couldn't see clearly.

So, I can only ask, ask everyone who may have been informed of it back then.
Chapter completed!