"Doesn't anyone really know?" Catherine asked back, "I don't believe that everyone with you just ignores your behavior. Maybe others may do this, but at least His Majesty Flar will never completely remove your attention from you. She must know what you have done. I'm right."

Panis was silent because Catherine was right at all. Flar once told him in person that he actually knew what he had done.

"Look, as soon as I see you remain silent, I know I'm right." Panis's reaction made Catherine smile with satisfaction, and the Knight girl said softly: "His Majesty Flar knows your behavior, but still maintains love for you. This shows that perhaps the end of the story is not as impactful as you think, nor is it enough to change our minds."

"She... is true, but that's because she is not very normal in her mind." Panis sighed helplessly and said, "If it were another person, I'm afraid he would never maintain the same attitude as her."

"Is this really the case?" Catherine said with a smiley expression: "If you don't say it out, how can you confirm whether your thoughts are right or wrong? Maybe everyone thinks that your behavior is actually nothing."

"Nothing?" Panis said with a wry smile: "How could it be nothing? I had just woken up from the confusion and saw Danakus rushing towards me at an extremely fast speed. I knew that his target was my body and how to deal with it. Before entering the world of the dead, Mina had told us how one of her fellow tribes responded to the soul that wanted to seize the body. So I knew that taking self-harm responses at the moment when the soul invaded the body was very likely to hurt the other party. For the occupied target, that moment was the most vulnerable moment of the soul and the best opportunity to achieve our goal. What I should do was to make all preparations.

As Neli did later, he killed himself at the moment when he invaded his body. Each of us has actually been awakened. If the situation is really bad and we have to use this method, the person selected by the other party will definitely take the initiative to complete this last step. Before facing Danacus, I have simulated it in my mind many times. If it was me who was selected, what time and method should I choose to perform the last step. I think it is not just me, but each of us has simulated it like this, because only in this way can we not fail because of the sudden and unprepared incident. After all, there is only one chance of such a thing. Once it fails, no one can bear the consequences."

"Yes, if it were me, I would think so." Catherine put herself into the position of the heroes back then and pondered for a moment, nodding and said: "It is not easy to choose death for yourself. If you don't prepare yourself in advance, it will be difficult to deal with it as soon as possible."

"It's hard for you to believe that it was my first time facing irresistible death at close range." Panis sighed and said quietly: "I have experienced countless battles and countless life dangers before, but I have never faced a situation of mortality. Every danger is actually within a controllable range and can be resolved with strength and will. Although those experiences are dangerous, only I know that as long as I try my best, I can live without real death. So, I never know what it feels like to watch death approach little by little. I always thought I was mentally prepared for death, but the facts proved that this was just an illusion. I was not ready at all, and I didn't know how terrible the arrival of death was."

"No wonder." Vivian suddenly woke up and whispered: "When we first met, you laughed at the safety measures set up by the Adventurers Guild at the surface entrance of the crying cave. No wonder you always emphasized that it is impossible to grow into a qualified Adventurer without truly facing the test of life and death. I always felt strange, why did you have this attitude, and now you finally understand."

"Only by struggling from a situation where death is inevitable can people become stronger. I thought I had it, but in fact it was just a misunderstanding." Panis said self-deprecatingly: "Also, I have been eroded by the erosion of the divine punishment for a long time and have just experienced countless death experiences. I have really understood the pain and horror of the death process. It can even be said that this pain and horror have been infinitely expanded in consciousness, so it completely occupied the entire spiritual world. It must be admitted that at that moment, I had already begun to be afraid. Although the previous death experience was real, I could emphasize to myself in consciousness that this was fake, so I could support it. However, this time it was true. When I thought that I would endure such a terrible feeling, I was completely panicked. I couldn't even be sure of what I was thinking at that time. What I could remember now was that there was only a blank in my mind."

"So you hesitated?" Catherine sighed and said, "Maybe it's not fear, it's just a sense of helplessness caused by a moment of panic. It's normal for people who have never faced death to behave like this."

"Hesitation? Haha, do you think it's just hesitation?" Panis's smile was full of sarcasm: "I'm not just hesitating. My first reaction at that time was to take a step back."

Catherine was stunned and opened her mouth but failed to make a sound, as if she had not fully understood what Panis said meant.

"Do you remember the scene at that time? Haha, Neri stood next to me. Originally, her position was not close to me, but she leaned over to give me a shoulder to rely on. She kept encouraging me next to me, cheering me up again, letting me believe in myself again, and letting me know that I am a hero." Panis's voice was filled with a strong contempt: "Hero, haha, it's such a hero. Taking a step back is equivalent to exposing Neri to Danacus's soul, or to be more precise, that is equivalent to hiding behind her and letting her face death on my behalf. It's ironic, isn't it? I just started to believe in myself again and cheer up again, and the facts exposed my appearance, let me see clearly my despicableness and cowardice, and finally I understood what kind of hero I was."

The girls all fell into silence. At this moment, they finally understood the reasons for Panis' long-term pain and regret. In fact, retreating and avoiding in the face of danger of life is often an instinctive reaction of creatures, but a small instinctive reaction occurs at an inappropriate time and inappropriate place, and the result is irreversible consequences.

(~^~)
Chapter completed!