He Yan never felt that life would be so difficult, and it would be difficult to move forward and even if he could not take any more steps.

She hasn't seen the moon for a long time.

Since her blindness has passed, she has lived in a daze. Xu Zhiheng comforted her and would always be by her side. He Yan also smiled and said yes, but no matter how calm she was, she was confused and frightened. She had faced many difficulties in her life, and most of the time she stood up with a breath and told herself that it would be better to take this step. Before she knew it, when she looked back, she had already taken many steps.

Only this step can she not take over and she doesn't know how to take over it.

He Yan, who is no longer General Feihong, became Grandma Xu, is just an ordinary woman. An ordinary woman suddenly became blind. Although her husband still treated her well, this seemed like a flower in the water, with a kind of illusory perfunctory manner. She couldn't feel it.

During the Chinese Valentine's Day, she sat in the mansion until late at night, and did not wait for Xu Zhiheng to come back. She thought it was because of something in the court, but the next day she found out that the day before, Xu Zhiheng accompanied He Wanru to the temple fair. She groped and sat under the window in the house, quietly listening to the chat of the maid outside.

"The old man and his wife quarreled yesterday, and the master knew about it. The master was in a bad mood, so we servants were in trouble, because they were all because of the East Court."

"If you want me, the uncle is really too soft-hearted. The East Courtyard is now a blind man. How can our Xu family's big grandmother be a blind man? It's nothing to make people laugh. The lady has even pushed the banquet outside these days, just because she doesn't want others to ask about it."

Some little maid couldn't stand it and spoke for her: "The big grandma wasn't born blind. Suddenly, she was already pitiful."

"Pity? What's the pity about her? Even if she is blind, she can stay in the mansion and be served every day, at least she has no shortage of food and clothing. What's the difference between it and that pet? The poor man is the old man, who is young, has to live with this blind man for the rest of his life. Our uncle is unparalleled in learning. What kind of woman can't be found? He insists on finding such a person?"

"Yes! The uncle is pitiful!"

Such words were like a sharp hook, burying into her heart one by one, making her bloody.

At night, she sat in the room, waited for Xu Zhiheng to come back, and said to him: "Let's leave."

Xu Zhiheng was stunned and asked in a warm voice: "Why do you say such things?"

"Or it's okay if you leave me." She doesn't like to go around the corner, tell the truth, "I can't see it now, so there's no need to drag you down."

"You and I are husband and wife," Xu Zhiheng held her hand and said, "Don't mention these anymore, take a break soon."

He distracted the topic, but did not deny He Yan's word "drag".

He Yan's heart gradually sinks.

Every day after that, she lived a day of clothes and food and stretched out her hands every day, and often heard the secret ridicule of the servants in the mansion. Mrs. Xu also spoke to her with a gun and a stick, and He Yan dragged down the Xu family in and out of the words.

Xu Zhiheng still treated her gentle, but there was nothing else except gentle.

He Yan felt very tired.

She was walking on a dark night road with no pedestrians on the road. She could not see the light in front of her, and there was no place behind her. She didn't know when she would come to an end and end such a tormenting life.

A few days before the Mid-Autumn Festival night, she said to Xu Zhiheng: "I know that there is a fairy tree in Yuhua Temple on Lianxue Mountain. During the Mid-Autumn Festival, can we go up the mountain area? I want to hang silk on the trees to make a wish, maybe my eyes can be cured."

Since she was blind, she almost never asked Xu Zhiheng for requests. Xu Zhiheng was stunned for a moment and finally agreed. He said, "Okay."

Maybe when people are in bad luck, they can even get too tired of drinking cold water. Mid-Autumn Festival in previous years was sunny, but this year it was raining for days. When the carriage walked up the mountain, the sky was gloomy and it was impossible to go down the mountain that afternoon. Maybe they had to stay on the mountain for one night.

Xu Zhiheng helped her to the temple to rise and fall. A monk stuffed a red silk into her hand and told her where the immortal tree was located behind the temple. He Yan stroked the red silk and thanked the man.

The monk clasped his hands together and said kindly: "If you don't lose your karma after hundreds of thousands of kalpas, you will still suffer the consequences when you encounter them."

She didn't understand Buddhist scriptures and had to ask again when she asked, the other party had already walked away.

It was raining, and Xu Zhiheng accompanied He Yan to the immortal tree.

There are stone tables and benches beside the immortal tree, for the purpose of pilgrims who usually hang red silk to write. Xu Zhiheng laid out the red silk for her, stuffed the pen into her hand, and said, "Write it."

He Yan slowly wrote based on his feelings: I hope I can still see the moon.

No need to think about it, and I also know that the handwriting must be crooked and terrible.

After writing the words, she handed the red silk carefully to Xu Zhiheng, who hung the immortal tree for her. He Yan couldn't see anything, so he didn't see it. Her husband stood up and hung the red silk on a branch at his elbow. He was too lazy to stretch out his hand to tie the red silk, and he just put it on it casually. There was no place to hide the rain on the tree, but in a moment, the red silk was wet by the rain, and the handwriting on his head quickly became a blurry ink stain, and it was hard to see what he was writing clearly.

"Let's go." Xu Zhiheng came over and helped He Yan leave.

With a "boom", a tiny thunder sounded, and suddenly a cool breeze blew up, causing the branches to rustle. The untied red silk was blown off by the wind and smashed into the small pit of water, splashing all over the mud.

He Yan seemed to be aware and asked worriedly: "The wind is so strong that it won't blow away the silk, right?"

"How could it be?" Xu Zhiheng smiled and comforted: "It tied very tightly." After saying that, he seemed to have not seen it, and stepped over the red silk.

...

There is no sign of the rain stopping, so I have to stay in the mountains tonight.

Xu Zhiheng went to find the master of Yuhua Temple to discuss scriptures. It was already evening, and the lights were lit in the room, and He Yan sat quietly.

Originally, she should have gone up to rest at this time - a blind man, who had nothing to do except sleep and eat. But the sound of rain was sparse tonight, and she couldn't sleep. I don't know when it was now. After calling the maid's name twice, no one answered, he held the wall and walked out slowly, intending to call someone.

As soon as I reached the door, I heard two maids talking.

"I just heard the big grandma calling someone?"

"Is there any? Just call me, don't worry, it's so late, what do you want to do? I'm already blind and still tossing. I really think I'm a big grandma."

He Yan was stunned when he heard this.

These two maids are not her personal maids, but are from Xu Zhiheng's house. They are the most gentle and gentle in their daily lives. Because of Xu Zhiheng's relationship, they always treat her respectfully and respectfully, but they don't know that this is what she said in private.

"If she hadn't been going up the mountain today, we wouldn't have to spend the Mid-Autumn Festival here. It was raining outside, which was so unlucky. The old man was so kind-hearted that he wouldn't be bothered with such a stumbling bottle."

"You don't know the old man's temperament. On the surface, you are not annoyed, but you always have grudges in your heart. Our Xu family has become a joke in the capital now. The old man has always been arrogant, but I feel very uncomfortable in my heart. If I were her, I would hang a rope to save others from being burdened."

"Shh! This is something that can be said nonsense!"

The maid who spoke disagreed, "It was like an animal, waiting for people to come to feed every day, sleeping when they were full, and being served forever. She could not leave the house, nor could she see it. Life was boring. It was okay for one or two years, but it would be like this for the rest of her life. What's the point of living? It would be better to die early and get rid of it early, and you can see it by promising a good birth for the rest of your life."

"Stop talking, there is hot water outside, let's get some hot water first."

The footsteps gradually faded away.

He Yan slowly slid down with his back to the door.

Yes, it’s fine if you spend one year or two years, but you have to do this for the rest of your life. What’s the point of living?

The maid in the master's room, and the master dares not trample on anyone. Since these two people can talk about her as if nothing is wrong, we can see that Xu Zhiheng is not as unrepentant as she is in front of her.

But how many people in this world can do it without regrets.

He Yan didn't know if the lights were on in the house, but for her, it was just as dark. Suddenly, he felt a sense of despair. He practiced martial arts when he was young, went to school when he was young, and later went to the battlefield to compete for military merits. He spent his whole life making wedding dresses for others. He finally took off his mask and thought that everything could start over, but he fell into darkness at this time, and he trapped his house in the four corners of his life, and asked someone to follow him when he took a step.

People’s despair is not accumulated overnight. Those small things in daily life are the enthusiasm of eroding whales and swallowing people. The enthusiasm is consumed little by little, and disappointment and heaviness are pressed up layer by layer. The last straw falls lightly, with a clamor, and hope sinks to the bottom of the water.

Despair is overwhelming.

She groped and stood up slowly.

There was a belt left in the room with clothes. She grabbed the outer clothes randomly and put them on, picked up the bamboo pole she used when she was blind, and went out tremblingly.

There are few people in the mountain temple, and because it is dark and raining outside, the monk has already entered the Buddhist temple. She walked around randomly and didn't even run into someone else.

Thanks to the young man who was in the army, he barely developed the habit of having an amazing memory of the journey. She still remembers that when she was going up the mountain, Xu Zhiheng told her that there was a dense forest not far from the temple. A waterfall hanging from the river, like pearls and jade falling on the plate, magnificent and beautiful.

It’s pretty good to have mountains, water and trees, but unfortunately it rains tonight, and there is no moon she likes.

It is always inconvenient for a blind man to go out, especially in the muddy mountain road. She didn't know how many times she fell or tripped by stones. She just felt that her clothes were wet and her hair was scattered. In the end, she was panting and no longer knew where she was walking.

She fell in front of a tree and hit her head on the trunk. He Yan reached out and found that the tree was very big, and it must be an old tree.

The dense forest with waterfalls is probably not found, so it is OK here. She has never cared about external things. She took a long time to move to a stone.

Exhausted, He Yan sat down on the stone.

The rain was a little lighter and it hit people tightly. The young woman looked up at the sky, as if she could see the moon. Only the rain slid down her cheeks, and she wiped the water from her face.

"Don't make a boat on the river, don't make a moon on the river."

"The boat carries people to part, and the moon shines on people to part."

She has no place to miss this world. The only reluctance is that there is no moon tonight.

He Yan slowly stood up and touched the cloth beside her hand. The cloth was tied tightly. She pulled it down, very steadily and should not be broken.

Kicked away the stone with one kick.

...

The cloth twisted into a rope broke in response to the sound.

He Yan fell to the ground off guard.

The mud all over the ground splashed on her. She was stunned for a moment and suddenly realized that the cloth had been broken.

It was actually broken?

For a moment, she couldn't help but feel inexplicable grievance and sorrow in her heart. She choked for a moment, then sobbed quietly, and then lay on the ground and burst into tears.

He Yan rarely shed tears.

A general who shed tears is a very affecting morale behavior. On the battlefield, she must always maintain her confident and energetic appearance, as if no one or anything can affect her judgment. When she is not a general, she will feel pretentious when she wants to shed tears.

But people always have times when they are fragile. They can hold back when they are neglected, when they are blind, when they hear maid ridicule, when they are mocked by their mother-in-law, when they are implied to be a drag bottle.

But if she couldn't even seek death and even the cloth was cut off, she wouldn't be able to help it.

Tears were hot, and big drops were sank into the soil under my cheeks, unable to tell which rain and tears were.

She cried heartbrokenly, and suddenly, a strange voice sounded.

It was a man's voice, in the wind and rain, his voice was low and pleasant, and he asked, "Why are you crying?"

He Yan's crying came to an abrupt end.
To be continued...